"Just be yourself" might be the most well-intentioned and least helpful advice in the professional world. For neurodivergent professionals, it is often contradictory. Being yourself is exactly what got you labeled as too blunt, too quiet, too intense, or too literal in the first place. The problem is not authenticity. It is that workplaces demand authenticity without providing the context to make it safe.

Why Be Yourself Fails

The advice assumes a level playing field that does not exist. When a neurotypical person is themselves at work, their communication style usually aligns with workplace defaults. When a neurodivergent person is themselves, they often face friction.

•  Direct communicators get told to soften their tone

•  Quiet processors get labeled as disengaged

•  Detail-oriented thinkers get accused of overthinking

•  Literal interpreters get excluded from sarcasm-heavy banter

The instruction to be yourself without any translation layer puts the entire burden of adaptation on the person who already has to work hardest to fit in.

A Better Framework: Communication Profiles

Instead of vague encouragement, give people a concrete tool. A communication profile is a structured document that explains how someone naturally communicates and how they prefer others to communicate with them.

•  How I prefer to receive feedback: direct and specific, not sandwiched between compliments

•  How I process information: I need time to think before responding, silence is not disagreement

•  How I handle conflict: I prefer written discussion so I can organise my thoughts

•  What drains me: unstructured brainstorming sessions with no agenda

•  What energises me: focused deep work with clear objectives

The Power of Mutual Profiles

A single profile helps. Mutual profiles transform teams.

•  When both people in a conversation know each other's preferences, adaptation becomes shared rather than one-sided

•  Managers can reference profiles to tailor their approach to each team member instead of using a single default

•  Conflict resolution shifts from who is right to understanding which style difference triggered the friction

•  Onboarding becomes faster when new hires receive profiles for every colleague on day one

Making It Practical

•  Take a Communication DNA survey to generate your profile automatically

•  Share your profile in your Slack status, email signature, or team wiki

•  Review profiles before important conversations to prepare your approach

•  Update your profile as you learn more about yourself and your preferences evolve

•  Use AI compatibility analysis to understand specific dynamics between you and key colleagues

From Advice to Action

The next time you want to tell someone to just be themselves, try something more useful instead. Share your own communication profile first. Model the transparency you want to see. When you say "here is how I communicate" rather than "just be yourself", you give the other person permission to do the same.

Authenticity without context is a gamble. Authenticity with a communication profile is a strategy.